Narrator

The youngest in his class.

Tony

The Narrator's more intellectual boyfriend. Slightly older and bigger than the Narrator. Father named as Bert.

Paul

A blond boy who both the narrator and his boyfriend would fancy if they weren't together. Straight, but getting desperate as he has no girlfriend. One of the oldest in the class. Small for his age until a growth spurt at the end of year ten after which he is one of the tallest in the group. Father works away from home on contracts.

Melanie (Mel)

A friend of the Narrator, Tony and Paul. Apparently not interested in having a boyfriend.

Virginia

A senior, three years above the main group. Very good looking, but prone to plain speaking. Since ditching her boyfriend, spends a lot of time with Melanie. Cousin to Bruno.

Raj

He and brother Naveem are the boys from the corner shop. They have a large extended family in Birmingham, all of whom have some sort of business. Both have been threatened with arranged marriages to cousins. Raj has the family's eye for a business opportunity.

Naveem

Brother to Raj. Has his father's eye for a pretty girl. Lusts after Virginia, but knows he has no chance.

Mr Meryn Sproat

Games master, also does drama. Nicknames: Brussels and Merv the Perv. Gay and single. He is professional in his approach to his job but finds it a hard struggle to maintain that detachment with all the boys about. Outed to boys in narrator's year in 'Revenge' (reprised in 'LiveLong & Prosper'). Did some of his training in the USA.

Donny

Another smaller boy, useless at football and other team games, and consequently sometimes picked on. Likes running and swimming and the new offering of wrestling. Can be an instigator of mischief.

Lilat & Sabhya

Raj & Naveem's Uncles. Run the Durbar Indian Restaurant. Family outcasts

Merkin

The school cat. A black female.

Mrs O'Reilly

Art Teacher. Does fortune telling at the school fete under the watchful eye of Merkin. Donny's nickname for her is 'The Wicked Witch'.

Miss Rutherford

Popular old hand teacher, teaches geography, economics etc .

Melanie's Sister

A senior in the same year as Virginia and has a crush on Mr Sproat in spite of his known preferences.

Mr David Morgan

New (summer term, year ten) physics master, fresh out of college.

Roger Prescott

Sporting type, same year as Virginia, his one- time girlfriend. Excessively handsome with a narcissistic and bullying streak. Nickname 'Presscock'

Bruno

Son of the owner of the local Italian restaurant. Boyfriend to Cath. Cousin to Virginia.

Cath

Bruno's girlfriend.

Susie

Paul wanted the role of boyfriend but was told to forget the idea.

Simon (Zander)

Cute waiter in cafe in he shopping centre. Son of owner. Goes to Catholic school in next town.

Samantha (Sam)

Mrs O'Reilly's niece from Massachusetts.

Jan (Yan)

A Dutch boy who is the spitting image of Paul. Lives in Limburg, Netherlands

Aunt Doris

The Narrator's unmarried maternal aunt.